Pretty Dresses!

I love love LOVE when an Oscar dress takes a whirl around the color wheel, and Maggie Gyllenhaal, Rachel McAdams, and Sandy Powell all rocked the multi-colored look. Gyllenhaal's was especially bold, McAdams's was like a watercolor painting, and Powell kept proud the tradition of Best Costume Design winners looking exceptionally funky.
















Here's what I think happened: Gabourey Sidibe thought, "Omigod, wouldn't it be great if all us Precious gals wore shades of...SAPPHIRE?" And Paula Patton was the only one who didn't check her email. Sidibe's dress is my favorite, with the jeweled leaf work. Mo'Nique looked very elegant, especially with the Billie Holliday flowers in her hair. Sherri Shepherd and Oprah Winfrey were classy in simple navy. Of course Mariah Carey had to bring The Skank, with insufficient fabric on her tits and thighs. (A shame, because her dress was a great color and I love the brooch at the waist.) I've got to hand it to Paula Patton, though: I admire anyone brave enough to wear tangerine, especially when that pregnant!




















Blue was quite popular Sunday night. Helen Mirren's periwinkle dress was just dreamy, and Virginia Madsen's gown had some interesting vintage details. (But why was she there this year?) Actress Suzy Amis, wife of James Cameron, was unsurprisingly clad in a Na'vi-esque gown (though it was terribly unflattering.) Elizabeth Banks's ruffled skirt was kind of fun, but Kristen Stewart's dress was just dull.

























I love me some purple, but all three of these dresses are majorly awkward. The cut of Molly Ringwald's gown was messy and unflattering, and her severe jewelry and strangely-sculpted bangs only made things worse. Charlize Theron would have been stunning in two-toned lilac, if those roses hadn't snuck up from behind and cupped her breasts. And Zoe Saldana's get-up had about five motifs too many: The crystal bodice set in lavender is beautiful, but the weird slit and sea-urchin ruffles work against the above-the-waist elegance. (Add the color changing effect at the bottom, and you have a full-blown mess.)
























Not a whole lot in the red family this year. Sigourney Weaver wore it best, in draped crimson and jewels on her shoulder. Jane Seymour had a fun shade of watermelon. (But why was she there this year?) Penelope Cruz wore a nice shade of wine, though the dress was oddly bulky. And then Vera Farmiga took "bulky" to new heights. I'll never understand why designers wish to drown women in ruffles. Mentally, I'm erasing all the ruffles except the two along the bust line -- now there is a great dress.
















Ah, pastels to remind us that cruel winter cannot last forever! Anna Kendrick's blush gown is ever so romantic. Queen Latifah has a new personal best in ice pink and a spiral staircase of jewels around her waist. Demi Moore's peach gown was just right; any bigger and it would have crossed over from playful to messy. Diane Kruger's creamy frock was rudely interrupted by black stripes, especially the poofy collar; the overall effect is reminiscent of a poodle. Jennifer Lopez chose the cheapest looking fabric -- is it packing material? -- and there's way too much of it stapled to her waist. The hairstyle also does her a serious disservice; I believe that is the hastily-pulled-back-into-a-scrunchie look. Sarah Jessica Parker looked positively haggard in a shapeless toga, with way too much metalwork threatening to crush her breastbone.















Metallics were also a favorite this year, as seen on Kathryn Bigelow, Sandra Bullock, Miley Cyrus, Cameron Diaz, Anika Noni Rose, Amanda Seyfried, and Kate Winslet. Bullock's rises above with its intricate leaf work. Cyrus's dress was laughably ill-fitting; I think she had to stay hunched over all night to keep her boobs from falling out of those teensy little cups.
























Julianne Moore and Meryl Streep in white.
















Aaaaand the old standby, black, on Tina Fey, Faith Hill, Carey Mulligan, CCH Pounder, Barbra Streisand, and Nancy Walls. Faith Hill's ensemble belongs in one of those Old West souvenir photos. Carey Mulligan's gown is the only one to bring some interest to basic black, with silver charms in the shape of miniature silverware sewn to the bodice and skirt.




















Here are my favorite jewels: Maggie Gyllenhaal's floral trumpets, Penelope Cruz's cabochon-cut amethyst ring, Kate Winslet's matching (citrines? canary diamonds?), and Gabourey Sidibe's sapphire teardrops.


























As for the fellas, they all wore a plain old penguin suit except Robert Downey Jr., who brought some fun to the uniform with turquoise-tinted glasses, matching oversized bowtie, and nerd sneakers. Bravo!