Julie's Own Damn-Oscars (or Anti-Oscars), Given By Her, Damnit!

Eligible Films I Actually Saw:

Babel, Borat, The Departed, The Devil Wears Prada, Dreamgirls, For Your Consideration, Friends With Money, Half Nelson, An Inconvenient Truth, Inside Man, The Lady in the Water, The Last King of Scotland, Little Children, Little Miss Sunshine, Looking For Comedy in the Muslim World, Notes on a Scandal, Pan’s Labyrinth, A Prairie Home Companion, The Queen, Running With Scissors, Thank You For Smoking, United 93, Venus, Volver

Favorite Films
Pan’s Labyrinth, Volver, Half Nelson

Least Favorite Films
Babel, The Devil Wears Prada, The Lady in the Water

Favorite Performances
Ryan Gosling and Shareeka Epps, Half Nelson
The bit players of Inside Man
The cast of Little Miss Sunshine
Ivana Banquero and Maribel Verdu, Pan’s Labyrinth
Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin, A Prairie Home Companion
The cast of Volver

Least Favorite Performances
Al Gore, An Inconvenient Truth
Bob Balaban, The Lady in the Water (still love ya, though, Bob)
The Narrator, Little Children
Lindsay Lohan, A Prairie Home Companion
Katie Holmes, Thank You For Smoking

Julie-Crush Citations
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Departed
Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson
Paul Giamatti, The Lady in the Water
James McAvoy, The Last King of Scotland
Steve Carell, Little Miss Sunshine
Joseph Cross, Running With Scissors

Weirdest Double Feature
Borat and Looking For Comedy in the Muslim World. Someone please write a pretentious thesis paper on them, please.

“Scariest” Triumvirate
Mexican directors Alfonso Cuaron, Guillermo Del Toro, and Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu all helmed three of the top-nominated films which netted a combined 16 nominations. Isn’t some wack-job going to invoke the immigration debate? Because I wrote a really great joke for it: “They only directed the films that American directors didn’t want.” (If Ellen makes that joke, I’ll be so proud of myself!)

Worst Dive
Gustavo Santaolalla, who wrote the poignant, iconic score for Brokeback Mountain and followed it with the laughably awful score for Babel.

Worst Use of John Krasinski
Dreamgirls and For Your Consideration. How could they give him only 5 seconds of screen time apiece? I demand more Krasinski!

Worst nudity
Rinko Kikuchi flashing her beave in Babel.
That dude’s nutsack in Borat.
Two abominations to the human body in The Last King of Scotland.

Best Reunion
Joseph Fiennes and Gwyneth Paltrow in Running With Scissors. If you felt Shakespeare in Love would have benefited from a scene where Will makes vulgar comments about Viola’s twat, then get thee to a video store and rent this sucker.