SAG Awards

(Film winners Forest Whitaker, Helen Mirren, Eddie Murphy, and Jennifer Hudson, plus female acting nominees Adriana Barraza, Cate Blanchett, Abigail Breslin, Jennifer Hudson, Rinko Kikuchi, and Helen Mirren. Ladies only because men's fashion is boring.)

More of the same from the Screen Actors' Guild: Globe winners Whitaker, Mirren, Murphy, and Hudson all repeated. This is actually the first time ever that all four SAG winners also won the Globe. I knew Mirren and Hudson had theirs in the bag, but I thought the SAG might mix things up a bit with legendary favorites O'Toole and Arkin. Instead, we have a four-way steam-roller in the acting categories, and the Oscars may well be a foregone conclusion, acting-wise.

I can't believe it's been a whole year since the last time I fumed over the A.P. writers and other entertainment journalists who are stupid enough to think that the SAG award for ensemble cast is the "equivalent" of Best Picture. IT IS NOT. STOP SAYING THAT, YOU ARE GROSSLY WRONG. Here is a listing of the SAG ensemble winners versus the Oscar winner for Best Picture:

1995: Apollo 13, Braveheart
1996: The Birdcage, The English Patient
1997: The Full Monty, Titanic
1998: Shakespeare in Love (both)
1999: American Beauty (both)
2000: Traffic, Gladiator
2001: Gosford Park, A Beautiful Mind
2002: Chicago (both)
2003: Lord of the Rings (both)
2004: Sideways, Million Dollar Baby
2005: Crash (both)

These two awards have only matched up when the Best Picture winner had a genuine ensemble cast. Crash, Lord of the Rings, Chicago, American Beauty and Shakespeare in Love each had quite a stable of actors. Compare that to the overwhelming focus on two characters in Million Dollar Baby and A Beautiful Mind; Did anyone really think Sideways or Gosford Park might beat those two films just because they won ensemble cast? Absolutely not. It's also worth noting that The Birdcage won the SAG award without even being nominated for Best Picture. Now, Little Miss Sunshine is a genuine threat to win Best Picture, not because it predictably won Best Ensemble, but because in a year with no clear favorite, the scrappy little crowd-pleaser can steal. (It's like this year's Full Monty, but there is a distinct lack of a Titanic-like contender in the running.) So listen up, would-be Oscar pundits: Less than half of the Ensemble Cast winners went on to take Best Picture, so when you call this award a "Best Picture" equivalent, you are only proving yourselves to be ill-informed. Damnit.

Here is a shout-out to the ladies who were nice enough to bring some color to the red carpet:




















(Joy Bryant, America Ferrera, Rebecca Gayheart, Katherine Heigl, Mindy Kaling (OFFICE!), Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Demi Moore, Elizabeth Perkins, Jada Pinkett, Sara Ramirez, Kate Walsh, Vanessa Williams.)

Highlights of the telecast included:

• Vanessa Williams screws up her segment of the show-opener by violating the gender-neutral rule and ending her bit with "I am an actress."


• Ashton Kutcher makes fun of the telepromter drivel. Always welcome. Wait a minute, why is Ashton Kutcher allowed to present an award?


• Forest Whitaker gets way, way too flirty with America Ferrera at the podium.


• Jeremy Irons is sooo drunk.


• THE OFFICE WINS BEST COMEDY SERIES ENSEMBLE!!! HELL, YES!!!


• The Mary Poppins reunion, with Dick Van Dyke giving the lifetime achievement award to Julie Andrews. Jolly Olliday indeed.


• Chandra Wilson thanks the Guild for voting for her with "this skin, this nose, these arms."


• Steve Carell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus make cheery digs at each other's shows.


• Greg Kinnear announces he has played hopstoch with one of the supporting actress nominees. But Jennifer Hudson wins anyway.


• Jeremy Irons pretends there is an ounce of suspense in the Best Actress envelope. He is less drunk.


• Steve Carell wins his second Ensemble Cast award of the evening. Step aside Helen Mirren, Steve won a pair of lumpy androgynous statues, too.

And by the way, where was everybody? Helen Mirren was the only Best Actress nominee in attendance, and Reese Witherspoon was the only winner from last year to present. I mean, this show is way cooler than the Globes. See below.