The Awards and the Dresses

Oh, Oscar. You broke my heart.

I have watched 19 Oscar telecasts, and only twice has an outcome been so unexpected and upsetting that I screamed, stared in bewilderment, and sulked the rest of the evening. The first, of course, was when Crash stole Best Picture from Brokeback Mountain. The second was on Sunday, when Viola Davis somehow lost so that Meryl Streep could have a third win.
















Here is a picture of Ms. Spencer and Ms. Davis on the red carpet at the Oscars, beside a picture of their deserved wins at the SAG awards. Now just imagine those statuettes are gold instead of turquoise, and have a sword covering their junk... (Sigh...)




















It wasn't all a bummer, because the other wins I was hoping for most came true. Stars of awesomely weird television comedy -- Jim Rash of Community and Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords -- were the victors for Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Song, respectively.

Onto the pretty dresses!

















The Best Actress lineup looks pretty darn good. Glenn Close's choice of a blazered dress (representing her cross-dressing performance) was a little cutesy, but feminine neckline and lush forest green color were quite flattering. Viola Davis wore the most gorgeous shade of green, and her gown mixed up textures without looking messy. Rooney Mara's dress was a bit flimsy and dull. Meryl Streep looked the most glamorous she has in years, with artfully gathered fabric in Oscar-matching gold. Michelle Williams wore a tangy shade of coral; the ensemble would have been perfect if the clip at her waistline were a more elegant shape.
















As for the Supporting Actress nominees, Berenice Bejo did not look her best. I love the mint green color, but between the long heavy sleeves and her tightly pulled back hair, the ensemble worked against her very lovely features. Jessica Chastain looked positively amazing in the exquisitely embroidered black and gold gown, which was wisely accessorized with her flowing, insanely beautiful hair. Melissa McCarthy wore a dreamy shade of peach, though the shape of the dress was on the bulky and messy side. I had to comb the internet for a picture of Janet McTeer, and why? Her tomato-red gown was all va-voom, showing off the, um, womanliness that she somehow managed to hide in Albert Nobbs. Finally, Octavia Spencer was dressed like a winner in sumptuous silver.




















Warm pastels flattered Cameron Diaz, Wendi McClendon-Covey, Penelope Ann Miller, and Kristen Wiig.




















Hot shades of red were fabulous on Ellie Kemper and Natalie Portman, but Emma Stone's slender neck was overwhelmed by that horrible giant bow.




















I have no idea why Bo Derek and Virginia Madsen were invited, but I love their purple gowns. Maya Rudolph didn't come out quite as well in eggplant.


















Missy Pyle, Annie Mumolo, Penelope Cruz, Leslie Mann, and Tina Fey make me long for the ocean.




















Earrings I would happily steal: the emeralds on Berenice Bejo, yellow diamonds on Jessica Chastain, sapphires (?) on Tina Fey, opals (?) on Busy Phillips, pearls on Rose Byrne, and amber (?) on Ellie Kemper.




















Only two men wore anything worth mentioning. Christopher Plummer is the very definition of classy in a blue velvet tux, and Sacha Baron Cohen is the gleeful opposite in ridiculous costume. Thanks for mixing it up, fellas!